Leap Towards Yourself!
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads with the future so clear to you and yet so out of reach? After nearly 12 years at the same community based organization, I decided to take a leap towards my future. The Universe was calling to me. I could hear her still, small voice at every turn; and yet, my mind was preoccupied with logistical realities: health insurance, bills, childcare - all the material stuff of adulting! How would it be possible to listen to this still, small voice while also showing up as a “responsible” adult?
It wasn’t just the future that caused me worry. The anxious voices of my ancestors called to me. The difficult and labor-laden lives of my grandparents materialized in front of me. In particular, my grandfather’s voice spoke to me, instructing to treasure safety and security. They had worked so very hard to make life easier for me. How could I take that for granted? How could I take them for granted?
And it wasn’t as if things were bad. I worked for a mission-driven non-profit that was dear to me. I had clients and colleagues I adored. Part of my role was to facilitate a community burial program, and this work filled my heart. It gave me the opportunity to live into my purpose: meaning making alongside people through the most difficult seasons of life. One Friday night, I fielded a call from the funeral home with whom we partnered. This burial was different than the others I typically supported. The deceased was a 34-year-old, someone 5 years younger than me. Universe, I said to myself, I hear you loud and clear: none of us is promised tomorrow or next year or 10 years from now. I finally allowed myself the grace to admit that if I didn’t step off the fast-moving treadmill on which I sprinted, I was going to fall off - face first.
I resigned from my role the following week. I won’t say I never looked back. The past can be our best teacher, and I have learned so much from my past experiences; these learnings will always be part of who I am and how I am. Leaning on that strong backbone, I now find myself both steeping in the present and looking ahead towards the future. The voice of my grandfather returned to remind me that, while security and safety are treasures, I, too, am a treasure. A treasure worth the investment.
Do you find yourself at a crossroads? Are intergenerational patterns and coding shaping your present in a way that doesn’t serve you? Is that still, small voice becoming louder - calling you to your purpose? I hear you; I am you; I am here for you.
